It’s been an unprecedented week of “Extras” and “Special Reports” in The Star.
It’s been a period of professional exhilaration and pride counterbalanced by the emotional despair resulting from this national tragedy.
Two basic principles of journalism play into these oddly contrasting feelings:
- The “big story” provides journalists with an unmatched adrenaline rush.
- We are trained to be unemotional while covering the news to protect our objectivity.
I almost feel guilty admitting this, but work was fun last week. Even though the story was the unthinkable atrocities of terrorism, the intense deadline hustle and newsroom camaraderie provided a refuge from the horrible reality.
But when I let my guard down, even for just a second, the magnitude of the tragedy hit me hard. Each of us had to find a way to deal with our grief.
For me, it was a quick 10-minute visit home during a lull early Tuesday night to hug my wife and kids and tell them I loved them.
I asked my colleagues how they had dealt with the emotional turmoil of the past week, and 30 responded. Here are a few excerpts:
“I have been at this for 30 years. That includes Watergate, the Nixon resignation, Vietnam, the Gulf War and the crash of a USAir flight that killed everyone on board. All this trains you to do the job first and put your emotions second. That’s what journalists do. But, when I heard about the Pentagon and knew that my daughter worked two blocks from the White House, it caused me to pause, to call and e-mail.
“After I was assured she was OK, I let my wife know and went back to work. Tuesday was a 17-hour day. It was not until I got home that I allowed a tear. The enormous consequences of what happened hit me.” — Terry Eberle, editor
“Helping with our first ‘Extra’ on-the-street edition kept me focused and almost insulated from the emotions, like I didn’t have time to cry. But the next morning, when I saw my neighbors across the street flying their large American flag, the tears came.” — Jenny French, page designer
“All journalists know that at times, we must interview grieving families in unpleasant circumstances, but that doesn’t mean we like it. I hate it. . . . I talked to a guy yesterday whose mom is missing at the Pentagon. He was crying so hard, he had to hang up. I wanted to cry, too. I felt like a vulture, and I have trouble reconciling that with my Christian faith.
“But I know on this story, it has to be done. These stories need to be told. The enormity of the tragedy is so much bigger than my unease.” — Scott MacGregor, reporter
“I don’t mean this the way it sounds, but it was exhilarating. This is what we do. We’re never more alive than when we deal with life and death. Adrenaline trumps horror.” — Greg Dawson, a.k.a. Herman
“Working in features, I had the idea that what we were doing was frivolous …. However, the morning after the attacks, I felt grateful for the work we do in features. That’s because my 10-year-old, who was very scared and upset about what happened, momentarily forgot her anxiety as she delved into the comics. That’s when I knew that what we do makes a difference in people’s lives.” — Ellen Miller, features reporter
