“I find that The Virginian-Pilot articles are often written in a cumbersome style better suited to a magazine and not a newspaper.
So said Chip Rose of Virginia Beach in a recent e-mail that went on to say: I was taught that newspaper articles should use the very first paragraph, a very brief synopsis of the entire article, followed by the complete story and background for those who were interested in reading the whole thing.
Unfortunately, The Pilot articles often start with deep background, which requires the frustrated reader to dig for the gist of the story, when the story header is vague.
I read 13 news sources every morning and sometimes again in the evening, scanning headers, and sometimes scanning first paragraphs if the subject line attracts me. The Pilot is the only newspaper which consistently contains so many poorly written articles that I felt compelled to reach out and traumatize you also with my plaintive cries.
Rose, who conceded in a conversation that stories in The Pilot are frequently well written, prefers a clear and concise presentation of the news.
Which is kind of understandable if youre poring over 13 news sources daily.
Ive quoted Roses e-mail (Subject header: Hard-to-read journalistic style) in its entirety because Ive occasionally heard similar complaints from other readers.
At times, its couched in slightly different terms. For instance: Just give me the facts, without all this fancy writing that seems to put a spin on everything.
Basically, these readers want whats known as the inverted pyramid style of reporting that emphasizes the Five Ws: Who, What, Where, When and Why. Thats still the practice with most newspaper stories even in The Pilot.
Most stories are probably best presented that way, says Maria Carrillo, The Pilots deputy managing editor for enterprise and leader of the papers Narrative Team. She adds one H How to the journalistic equation.
The inverted pyramid style, which gives the ending at the top and lays out the story in decreasing order of importance, is a particularly effective way to approach new stories where youre trying to quickly convey what happened, Carrillo explains.
Heres an example of a lead on such a story: NORFOLK More than three-quarters of the citys public schools will receive state accreditation this year, educators said Wednesday.
But readers would quickly tire of a newspaper full of news stories with just straight ledes, especially since much of the news would be somewhat stale, considering that it can broken faster by television, radio and online reporters.
Which is why we search for ways to add depth to our news coverage, and often that means finding news features, stories off the news that can be told in a storytelling fashion, with a beginning, a middle and an end, explains Carrillo. Those kinds of stories, unlike the inverted pyramid, engage readers and invite them to keep reading, to get to the finish and the payoff.
Thats why youll find many features stories without a news hook told in that fashion.
Says Carrillo: Ive been in the business for about 20 years, worked in news and features and have received far more passionate feedback from readers about stories told in a storytelling fashion. I gave a talk last fall in which I encouraged writers and editors to forget what they learned in journalism school and remember what they learned in kindergarten: A good story draws you in (Once upon a time …), invites drama (evil stepmom, toothy wolf) and moves to a nice finish (and they lived happily ever after).
I asked Carrillo what, specifically, is the aim of The Pilots pages. Her answer: We want our stories to show and tell, to provide necessary context while illustrating through actions, dialogue and description what happened.
The formula for good storytelling can be summed up by take me there and make me care, says Fred Kirsch, the papers writing coach. That involves show-me journalism as opposed to tell-me journalism. Telling is about vocabulary, while showing is about vision, Kirsch says.
Stories that ‘tell contain generic words like kind, generous, tough, feisty and angry. We know the meaning of these words but they conjure up no image. And they dont make us feel a whole lot. The person theyre about comes across as generic as the words. It could be about anybody.
‘Hes as tough as nails. Thats telling. ‘He doesnt take Novocain when he gets his teeth drilled. ‘He once played the second half with a broken ankle. Oh, man. I can feel how tough that is.
I hope this discussion helps readers to understand our storytelling why we strive to tell stories that make readers who pick up The Pilot be moved to read, as Carrillo puts it.
Some of these stories wont interest some readers, and thats understandable. And some readers, even while appreciating the fine writing, may well think, Hey, lets get to the point. That, too, is understandable.
But Im willing to bet it will be the storytelling articles that grab you emotionally, and stay with you long after many of the straight-news ones have faded from memory.
